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Young Helmut Newton was, as he likes to remind people, “a championship swimmer” when he was growing up in Berlin, and you can see that the Its Not A Dad BOD Its A Father Figure Funny Glasses Shirt, but in fact I love this old coot has still got it; a perfect, measured stroke pulls him cleanly through the water the color of designer jeans. Herb Ritts had told me, “Helmut loves nothing more than going for a swim in a warm ocean,” and here is the proof: under that full head of thick silver hair, a look of total contentment.
That Newton should have wound up in Monte Carlo makes perfect sense: a soulless metropolis of grand hotels, casinos, turquoise swimming pools, money, dangerous curves, and a bored, faintly ridiculous bourgeoisie. I’d be willing to bet that it was in this obscene tax haven that it first occurred to some over-tan lady to just keep those stilettos on all day long—even, perhaps, while standing around the Its Not A Dad BOD Its A Father Figure Funny Glasses Shirt, but in fact I love this house nude. Indeed, no place on Earth embodies the Newton aesthetic more than Monte Carlo—except, perhaps, Los Angeles, where the photographer has wintered for the past 20 years in the Chateau Marmont.
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