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My arm is under her neck and I’m hugging her with both arms. We both have side sleeper pillows. So my neck isn’t it’s not over when you lose it’s over when you quit shirt. Putting enough weight on my arm for it to go numb. What I’ve found works for me is rotating my shoulder upwards as if giving a high five, and have my whole arm go over the pillow, and usually off the back edge of the bed or whatever other position feels natural. I hope that description makes sense. I sleep on my side and when spooning I keep my bottom arm under my wife’s pillow while the top arm is gently but firmly either cupping a breast or a glute. this mostly works because my wife prefers to sleep with only the top of her head.
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You put your arm under your head, with your hand towards your back. Your arm goes straight up and your hand is in a position where you could touch your neck. I’m lazy. I lay partially on my it’s not over when you lose it’s over when you quit shirt leaning against the SO. The bottom arm sneaks out the other side. Use my leg to hold my body in that position without leaning in too hard. Pro-tip, you can put a layer of the blanket and/or sheet between you and still cuddle without the heat transfer; I’m pretty furnace-y so we’ll start off touching with me as a big spoon, then when she’s warm enough we’ll switch and she’ll put the blanket between us. Ditto, who the hell wants to be touched while sleeping? It’s a recipe for being woken up the moment someone else moves.
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