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I really enjoyed learning about the research that Gladwell used in this Best Dad Ever Ever Ever Dad Shirt, and with Gladwell’s particular story-telling. I was already familiar with some but not all of the research, and of course, I already believed that we are not all self-made but usually largely dependent on our environments. That said, there was something cognitively dissonant about including the 10000-hour rule in a Best Dad Ever Ever Ever Dad Shirt about how the most successful are typically not all self-made.

The Theft of Memory: Losing My Father, One Day at a Time

House author Jonathan Kozol’s deeply personal biography of his father, a brilliant neurologist who suffered from Alzheimer’s.

Few writers of conscience write as beautifully as Jonathan Kozol. Departing from the South Bronx and turning his sensitive eye to his own life and legacy, The Theft of Memory is Kozol’s most personal Best Dad Ever Ever Ever Dad Shirt to date, as it explores the life of his father, Harry.

Dr. Harry L. Kozol was a nationally renowned neurologist whose work helped establish the emerging fields of forensic psychiatry and neuropsychiatry. He was a remarkable clinician with an unusual capacity to diagnose and identify neurological and psychotic illnesses in highly complicated and sophisticated people, including well-known artists, writers, and intellectuals. Notably, in Eugene O’Neill’s last years, the playwright moved to Boston so that he could live close to Kozol’s father’s office.

In addition to his successful private practice in Boston, Kozol operated in a grim arena marked by extreme violence. But while his role as a forensic expert placed him in the public eye for high-profile criminal defendants such as Albert DeSalvo (the Boston Strangler) and Patty Hearst, he was–as his son articulates–“a healer of tormented people, not their judge, not their interrogator.”

With the same lyricism and clarity that have defined Kozol’s acclaimed work on education for decades, The Theft of Memory intimately describes Harry’s vibrant life, the challenges following his self-diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, and the evolution of their relationship throughout.

This unique biography will have a long shelf life as a moving portrait of an extraordinary man, a window into the heart of one of our nation’s foremost education activists, and a frank examination of how we come to terms with caregiving.

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Jonathan Kozol has produced a heartfelt homage to his father, but — in contrast to what the subtitle implies –, this is not at all a diary chronicling the elder Kozol’s demise. Granted, it posts some telling markers as Harry Kozol’s descent into dementia becomes increasingly acute, but there’s little here that will be unfamiliar to anyone who has seen Alzheimer’s disease ravage the mind of a friend or family member. Nor does Kozol’s account provide much advice regarding coping tools, although it does certify that having enough money to pay for good nursing home and to hire top-tier aides is a definite plus. So is a firm commitment to understanding the individual from the inside out, and making his or her remaining life as comfortable and normal-seeming as possible. Beyond that, a loved one can accomplish what the best possible hired help cannot: Jonathan was uniquely positioned to elicit old memories from his father, and he also served as an able advocate in a medical system that, unfortunately, does not always do its best for infirm people when left to their own devices.

There’s no question that Harry Kozol was a gifted man who led a very interesting life, and The Theft of Memory is at least as much about that as it is about Harry’s illness, which was definitively diagnosed when he was 88 years old (although previously suspected). Interestingly, Jonathan did not uncover some major historical facts until he began examining the contents of a dozen crates that Harry had shipped to him some years earlier, but which oddly remained unopened until Harry landed in a nursing home (the crated documents were supplemented by papers that Jonathan came upon in his father’s office). Among the more substantive findings were records about Harry Kozol’s psychiatric diagnosis of Carlotta O’Neill, wife of the playwright Eugene. Harry had also conducted sixteen hours of interviews with Patricia Hearst following her arrest for bank robbery while under capture by the “Symbionese Liberation Army”; he held his ground during court testimony, during which he was subjected to relentless cross-examination by the famed defense attorney F. Lee Bailey. And there were 145 pages of interviews that Harry conducted with Albert H. DeSalvo, the confessed “Boston Strangler”. Unfortunately, though, Jonathan cannot refrain from augmenting these fascinating stories with an array of minutiae that could interest only him; at one point [p. 243] he even muses, “I don’t know why I find myself attracted to those unimportant details”, but that momentary insight failed to prompt their excision. This is the Best Dad Ever Ever Ever Dad Shirt that could have benefited from some serious editorial intervention.

Jonathan Kozol is an acclaimed writer; however, despite having created a sincere and readable testimonial to his close filial bond, his Best Dad Ever Ever Ever Dad Shirt ultimately comes up short. As a biography, it is highly selective and impressionistic, adhering to no clear timeline. And as a medical narrative, it lacks the detail that both its title and subtitle seem to promise.